Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Hurtful: being cut off by a group of women who thought you were spreading rumors about them, though you never said shit about any of them.
Hilarious: finding out 12+ years later that they were actually DOING all of the things they said YOU were saying about them.
I tried to be a hippie but I wasn't into it. I tried to be punk but I wasn't into it. I tried to be goth but I wasn't into it. I tried to be a hippie again but I still wasn't into it. I tried to be spiritual but I wasn't into it. I tried to be a suburban housewife but I wasn't into it. I tried mild BDSM but I wasn't into it. I tried monogamy but I wasn't into it. I tried polyamory but I wasn't into it. I tried being medicated for mental illness but I wasn't into it.
Each of the things I've tried to be, I tried because it sounded "right" or fun or comforting or had a built-in peer group (or any and all combinations thereof). Each of the things I've tried to be, I committed to at the time, and was sincere.
Everything I've tried to be has felt like acting.
Monday, December 29, 2014
10:25AM - My bum!
I get to have a colonoscopy! Woo! Good times! Can't wait!
One of those four things is accurate.
Monday, August 25, 2014
10:54AM - So many.
First off, it's been kind of awesome seeing people posting on here again. The little blurbs I get to read about your lives on Facebook are nice and all, but...
I've loved reading Nancy's quizzes (even though I think I'm batting about .150 in answering them - I never reply because I'm too ashamed of only being able to get MAYBE one a day). I love the stories about voyages to this or that pub or restaurant with Paul. It's smile-making.
I've ridden up and down with Libby on her relationship stuff and it's been good happy fun times watching things end up working out decently with her kid and his kid and the meetings and such (being kinda vague, sorry).
I've alternately screamed and cheered on the Kate roller coaster and she seriously has one of the cutest kids I've ever seen to whom I'm not related.
And everyone else. So many people, and getting little insights into how things are going with/for y'all has been, for me, kind of a window on the world of how things go.
My stuff...my stuff is my stuff. Which I was going to write about here, but this wasn't going to be a protected entry and there are things I just don't want the general public to have access to right now. I have said a couple of times, "there's stuff I really need to get out, and I'm gonna do it one day" and then I put up a post like this and don't subsequently do it.
I think today I may. Things have been fucky for a while, and then more fucky, and none of it is remotely as earth-shattering as the things a lot of y'all have been going through, but it's fucky for me. Short version: there's a possibility that I've wasted my entire adult life.
So, yeah. Everyone who can/will read this is probably someone I adore on one level or another. Online, I've known most of you for up to 14 years. FOURTEEN GODDAMN YEARS, Y'ALL. My friendship (however removed geographically it may be) with many of you is starting high school this year. It's kind of incredible.
Just wanted to say things. I said things. I will say more things later. But here: have a post from me, by me. It's on me. :D
Sunday, February 2, 2014
10:37AM - FFS
I have post I'm trying to make on here which I have saved as private 'til I'm done - buncha stuff I want to say about all kinds of stuff. But anyway. This Facebook chat. Not chat. Exchange. In a dude's thread. I'm putting it here because my brain hurts and I'm all about the sharing.
It's kinda long. If you don't feel like reading it, that's fine. I just...I dunno, I want to have this shit out there. There are people like this. Nice, normal people. Who think dogs are more self-aware than the transgendered.
Okay, the original post was a screenshot from a local community college survey. Q: Your sex? A: 1. Male 2. Female 3. Transgendered 4. Prefer not to answer. The man who posted it, commented: "Can someone please give me a good reason why transgender is now listed a gender option? Beside that the world is going to hell? Really.... you might as well put hermaphrodite on there, too. It's more valid than transgender. smh."
What follows is the ensuing thread. I am fully aware that I was deliberately inflammatory when I called the man a bigot right out of the gate. Backstory: this man is a fundamentalist bigot. He did not used to be. After his initial comment above, he did not participate in the thread.
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Because it's a valid orientation, bigot.
about an hour ago · Like · 1
MD: It looks like a survey, so it makes sense to put it on here if they're trying to get a feel for their demographics.
about an hour ago · Like · 1
PS: I'm assuming a TG person marks this if their transformation isn't complete BUT my experience is that person identifies him/herself as the gender which will be the end result... So the option is still useless.
about an hour ago · Like
HM: Wow crazy!! But not surprised!
about an hour ago · Like
DGT: I like the prefer not to respond option. You should have put that, Kev Keep them guessing lol
55 minutes ago · Like
BJ: I was born a man but i feel like i was supposed to be born a dog, WHERE ARE MY OPTIONS?!? WHY IS MY COUNTRY FULL OF HATE AND DISCRIMINATES AGAINST ME?
55 minutes ago · Like · 7
AB: I hate it when applications ask you if you are white, african, hispanic or other. Wtf.
52 minutes ago · Like
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Because a dog isn't a self-aware, sentient being, you twat-waffle.
50 minutes ago · Like
BJ: A dog isnt able to feel or perceive things? And Im the "twat-waffle" you say? Sounds like youre out of touch with reality.
46 minutes ago · Like · 2
DR: neither are TG's
45 minutes ago · Like
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Eh, I'll take back"sentient." How about "because a dog isn't a human, you twat-waffle." And D____, you really believe a TG person is less sentient and self-aware thana dog? Really?
42 minutes ago · Like
DR: I think a dog knows it's place "in the pack" whereas a TG is born one way, can't decide what it wants to be, wants to change, etc. That is the living representation of NOT self aware.
41 minutes ago · Like
JSL: Well I dont understand, working in a prison, if you have male parts your a man, but if you had an operation and now you have female parts you are a female, its based off what genitalia you have, not your sexual orientation. I think transgender shouldn't be an option, just male and female, so if you havent had the operation you get profiled with the men. Nothing against those who have the operation, and even so transgenders shouldnt have to put themselves out there like that,
37 minutes ago · Like · 1
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Wow. I have finally reached a level of short-sighted ness and stupidity to which I am unable to respond. Transgendered people are less self-aware than dogs. I'm starting to think that whole "Satan walks the Earth" thing is not entirely without merit, when humans can refer to other humans this way without a trace of irony.
36 minutes ago · Like
DR: You said what is true, but incorrectly. You are unable to respond, so you resort to name calling. And someone is supposed to take you seriously?
32 minutes ago · Edited · Like · 4
BJ: My short experience with Ianna has been very unpleasant. Instead of discussing things, this person seems to prefer using insults to further their point.
33 minutes ago · Like · 3
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: You are entirely correct. I am unable to have a rational conversation with a person who thinks dogs are more human than transgendered people.
31 minutes ago · Like
DR: Now you're just putting words in my mouth. I said less "self aware" than dogs, not less human. But whatever makes you feel empowered ;)
30 minutes ago · Like
ES: Where's the option for gender fluid? That's a genuine gender.
28 minutes ago · Like
ES: But S___, big breasted men who wear women's clothes can't be lumped in with men. The only thing male about them is the thing between their legs.
26 minutes ago · Like
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: I'm a white woman in a 20+ year marriage who votes every election and has never been arrested. How much more empowerment do you think I need? I just find it morally repulsive that there are actually other human beings roaming the planet with me who honestly think that domesticated pack animals have more self-awareness than transgendered people.
26 minutes ago · Like
ES: Just like women who have facial hair and a lack of boobs can't be lumped in with women cause the only thing female is their no longer reproductive organ
25 minutes ago · Like
BJ: Its called a joke, its sad that in your existence thus far you never developed a sense of humor.
25 minutes ago · Like · 2
DR: Well, i'm 42 and been married less time than you, only 13 years, and have voted in every election since i was 18 (not sure what this has to do with squat). I find it morally repulsive to want to change the gender you were born with and pretend to be something you're not. And my dog, is so self aware, it's never asked me to let it change into a flower, or a frog, or anything else :D
24 minutes ago · Like · 1
ES: I tried to make that make sense....
24 minutes ago · Like
LS: Twat waffle? Someone needs some sensitivity training.
22 minutes ago · Like · 3
ES: Can everyone just take their opinions on transgendered people, moisten them with a lil KY and shove them up their own asses! Your opinion on them (good or bad) doesn't change the fact that there are transgendered people, so shove it! It only makes logical sense, since they do exist and are worth the same amount as everyone else, that they be included in a gender option for a survey. People are people, regardless of gender, transgender, age, race, nationality, etc, so let them be people!
Shit, never thought I'd have to tell adults "your opinions doesn't change who someone is"
15 minutes ago · Edited · Like
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Oh, fuck...that was a joke? I'm sorry, I listen to Carlin, Hicks, Stanhope, Rogan, Norton, Pryor, Mulaney, Proops, Benson, Ansari, Posehn, Newhart, Hackett, Williams, Carvey, Ferguson, Burress, O'Neal...I thought I knew what a joke sounded like by now. That seemed more like a standard non-sequitur.
19 minutes ago · Like
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: D____: I only threw that stuff in to demonstrate that I already have empowerment coming out of my ass* - I don't need to somehow manufacture it by defending transgendered people (not quite sure how that was supposed to be "empowering" for me in the first place).
* Yes, it chafes.
16 minutes ago · Like
DR: You mean like this Eli? (there, that was a joke ) http://hugelol.com/lol/181867
15 minutes ago · Like · 1
BJ: Youre the type of person who hears a joke, doesnt get it, but laughs anyways because you dont want to be left out. Was it hard being home schooled?
14 minutes ago · Like · 1
ES: Yes! That! Thank you David.
14 minutes ago · Like · 1
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Awww, ad hominem. I already popped the ol' ad-hom cherry in this thread with my "twat-waffle" comment, but your attempt is adorable.
10 minutes ago · Like
BJ: I bet when youre losing an argument, in your 20+ year marriage you always resort to raising your voice as well.
6 minutes ago · Like
Ianna Riegel Tomasello: I'm home-schooled, unable to recognize humor, and shrill. Oh, DO tell me more - this is becoming psychologically fascinating.
3 minutes ago · Like
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
9:17AM - Joy and stuff.
Thank you for your responses yesterday. Yay, people are still on LJ! Yay, more than three of them still have me on their feed!
Your responses helped some because after years and years of the same behavior from someone, you start to wonder if it's you.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, May 26, 2011
10:28PM - Blecch.
This "not having any friends within 150 miles" shit is for the fucking birds.
9:51AM - Stupid politics.
I used to post a lot more often, because I used to be unmedicated and thus had almost no filter whatsoever between my brain and my need to tell everyone exactly what was going on in it. One of the things I used to post about was politics. EW, FUCKING POLITICS. Yeah, the P word, worse than "pustulant," worse than "pussy": POLITICS.
I still read political blogs and articles all the time, and frankly I've been too disgusted to properly analyze anything I see. There are vanishingly few news outlets through which one can filter out some or all of the bullshit. Just today we have tasty racism from Fox Business host Eric Bolling, with a hefty side of sexism from MSNBC commentator Ed Schultz.
Over 50,000 troops still in Iraq. FFS.
War in Afghanistan.
Unrest in Pakistan.
Not really a war yet, tee hee! -- in Libya.
Republicans can't keep it in their pants.
Democrats can't keep it in their pants.
I mean, what the hell is there to say, you know? Don't get me started on the bullshit going on with unions and WIC and Medicaid and Medicare and educational funding and NPR and and and ....
And so many people are just so fucking stupid!
In other news, I'm almost done running the concession stand for the season, and I am glad, because I am sick to death of it. Today I have to go to Sam's Club for a cubic assload (approximately) of water and Gatorade, because it's WAY WAY cheaper and faster to buy it that way than to have it delivered by a company that rhymes with Smepsi. SO ANYHOW. 90F temperatures and a lot of heavy lifting in my future. Red-Headed Stepchild will be helping, but it's still going to suck a certain amount of ass. RAPTURE! Oh, but hey! I get the whole weekend off! Huzzah!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
11:57AM - OH GOD SHE'S ALIVE.
I haven't posted in a FULL MONTH! During which not a lot has happened, but I'll catch everyone up anyway.
- Still concessions director for baseball, but it's a lot busier now because there are actual games being played.
- Just had to send a note to a member of our Board of Directors because she made flyers with misplaced commas like WHOA and it made my teeth hurt to think of them going out in the community like that.
- So now I hope she doesn't hate me forever for correcting her grammar. At least I didn't "reply to all," right?
- Other than that, not a lot going on.
- The kittens are growing by leaps and bounds, and it looks like we're keeping two of them, which means we'll have four cats in the house.
- For those keeping score at home, this is a three-bedroom house containing three adults, three children (four on the weekends) and now four cats.
- I am obviously out of my fucking mind.
- Still need to clean out the workshop, still need to get back into my glass, still a lazy pile of shit who has done/is doing neither.
- It sucks... I do so much better at getting stuff done with someone cracking the whip over me, but I also know that if anyone took on that role now I would resent them to a ridiculous length. So that's out.
- Guess I need to learn to motivate MYSELF.
- Speaking of which, I now weigh as much as I did when I was fully pregnant with my heaviest kid. So that's doing wonders for my self-esteem.
- One of my medications can cause weight gain, and I think I know what it does: it's taken away my sense of being full when I've had enough to eat. I didn't generally eat a whole lot because I would eat and then be not hungry and stop... and now I don't know when I'm not hungry any more.
- Plus, I'm a PILE OF LAZY, did I mention that? Need to exercise.
- I'm almost 41, not like the muscles and things are going to work themselves out. Can't believe I actually MISS marching band. I've never since been that fit.
- And I think that's it for now.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
11:49PM - Hi, Y'all.
Haven't posted in a while, so here's what's up.
Been working at the concession stand for Little League. I'm actually the Concessions Manager. Which means I have responsibilities OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE. Scary shit, yo. But I'm doing all right so far, with tons of help from Tark and RHSC.*
Household is doing all right. As always there is laundry to be done and stuff to be cleaned and me am be lazy. Must get shit done.
Must also exercise.
Haven't had a real cigarette in over 6 weeks.
Here are the BABBY KITTEHS as of about a week ago:
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
So, what have I been up to lately?
As of last Friday I haven't had a regular cigarette in 4 weeks. I have an e-cig, but I just moved down to the medium nicotine and will go to NO nicotine when I use this stuff up. I don't feel anything like the same compulsion to suck on the ecig that I did on cigarettes. It is still a crutch and I feel kinda bad about using it. Don't know if I'll be able to reconcile it; I might just have to go with feeling like a half-failure and get over it.
Been making new internet acquaintances via chat, so that's interesting.
The kittens I posted yesterday were born last weekend. One was born on Sunday at around noon. My stupid, broken cat suspended her labor for a DAY and delivered the next two between 9:30 and 10:15 on Monday. By "suspended," I mean she walked around the house as though nothing had happened, between bouts of taking care of her solitary kitten. She jumped in my lap for pettinz, played with the laser pointer, attacked her sister... with two more babies still visibly moving around inside of her. IT WAS PSYCHOTIC AND CATS ARE EVIL ALIENS.
Oh, and you know how cats are supposed to find a nice quiet dark warm place to litter? Don't believe a word of it. She chose to deliver her first kitten right on top of our bed, on Tark's side. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Which may be part of why she suspended her labor.
Yesterday I thawed the porn loin from hell so I'm trying to come up with creative ways to have pork for dinner almost every night this week. Any ideas?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
8:54AM - Philadelphia!
Went up to see doc_cathode over the weekend. Watched some truly awful children's shows which was entertaining in its own way. Best stop of the weekend: we went to the Mütter Museum. Wall O' Skulls, with places of residence and causes of death. Preserved cardiovascular systems. Dysmorphic skeletons. Books bound in human skin. Giant cysts and kidney stones. Wax casts of horribly disfiguring diseases. It was marvelous. I had an excellent time. Doc gifted me with octopods and comic books and pasta. Listened to "Jay and Silent Bob Get Old" podcasts all the way up, and "Nerdist" podcasts all the way home.
And by the way? I recommend stupid 5 Hour Energy. It works. Keeps my eyes from trying to close so I can make a 5-hour drive straight through without any sleepy issues.
And shouldn't inline spellcheck contain the word, "podcasts" by now? Plain old "podcast" it can handle, but "podcasts" sends it into a red underlining tizzy.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
What have I been up to?
My cat died, my other cat is knocked up, I finished painting my dining room wall, I play a lot of Warcraft, I should be a lot more assiduous about making sure my house is straight, I'm still in jammy pants at 11:15am and I see dead people.
One of those things is not true.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
1:24AM - Blargh!
No one on Facebook seems to be particularly chatty... anyone awake on here at this ungodly hour on a Saturday night?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
2:52PM - Hey whee.
It's been brought to my attention that I haven't posted much lately. So here's what's new and exciting....
Well, let's see. I've finally primed the dining room, so it ought to be fully painted before the end of the month. I hope.
I had a root canal yesterday, so my tooth is fixed, yay!
I can't afford to have it properly filled, so oh fucking well, boo!
Miss my Doc.
Playing too much World of Warcraft. (If you're playing and you are on a PvP server please let me know.)
Starving for socialization a lot because I have one local friend.
Kids all doing well and I haven't had to kill any of them yet.
Quitting smoking very slowly... only allowing myself 1 every 2 hours. Even that is really hard. Motherfuck but they have me hooked.
Anything anyone's been curious about? You can ask me. I'm an open goddamned book.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
My goblin warrior in World of Warcraft is so fucking cute I can barely STAND it.
(Grundoon, on Ysondre)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I like to think I'm tolerant, but I had to drop someone on FB because every fucking thing she posted PRAISED GOD and I mean PRAISE HIM like PRAISE like WHOA PRAISE.
Maybe I'm not very tolerant.
Nope, probably not.
Friday, October 22, 2010
I'm having an incredibly bad mental health day.
Tell me something good.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
9:49AM - OH GOD NOT APPS
iProduct users, whatever you do, don't get the "Pocket Frogs" app. It's free and will suck your life away one little breeding pair at a time.
I'm still trying to breed a Holstein-lookin' frog, damnit.
9:34AM - Rain!
It's a rainy day. Did a lot of cleaning yesterday with the Red-Headed Stepchild, so that was good. Sheets are clean, laundry's.... almost under control, which is astounding to me. On the other hand, I don't know what's accumulating in the kids' rooms.
Back when I was 20 and knew everything I had a slightly older boyfriend who still lived at home and was dumbfounded that his mother still did his laundry. "She says it's easier to just do it all," he said, and I thought she was out of her mind for not making him do his own damned laundry. Now I do laundry for all 6 (sometimes 7) people who live here and I understand; oh, do I understand. It really IS easier to just get all of the dirty clothes and get them all clean and out of the goddamned way than it is to make everyone do their own.
On laundry days I also feel way less guilty about all the little step-n-fetchit chores I make the R-HS do.
Friday, October 8, 2010
11:45AM - Aging SUCKS
I don't object to aging in general, but man - I was doing laundry and bending over a billion times to pick up dirty clothes made my back ache. WHAT? WHAT? Come ON here!
Monday, October 4, 2010
3:12PM - Blecch.
One of the side effects of one of my medications is weight gain. So either that or my own slovenly ways has caused me to put on pounds. I am very unhappy. I might actually have to get off my ass and do the couch-to-5k like I've kept saying I would.
UGH WTF EXERCISE I DON'T EVEN
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Well yesterday's post went over like a lead balloon.
Seems as though people are more in a mood to gripe than to pump themselves up. What's up with that? I mean, I'm there too... but I am steadfastly continuing to think that "make the bed" is an ACCOMPLISHMENT.
Oh oh oh oh -- y'all iProduct people out there -- check out "Epic Win!" It's a $2.99 app which lets you put your chores in it, and when you do your chores you get loot and your character levels up. Let me say that again: you can level up by doing chores. I ended up cleaning the goddamned bathroom yesterday to see if it would get me to Level 2. (It didn't, but I think I'll level up once I make the bed.) ANYHOW, it's motivating ME. We'll see how long it lasts.
So griping... here we go! What wholly unreasonable thing is just pissing you right the fuck off right now? Mine right now is that I had to drive the kids to school for the second day in a row because their bus didn't show up. I don't know if they're getting there late or what, but GAAAAAWD. Plus I had to drive Tark's truck, and this is the first time I've driven it anywhere but a parking lot. SO THAT WAS FUN.
Your unreasonable right-now gripes? I mean something as banal as, "it took me an extra minute to find my lipstick."
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
9:34AM - Fuck chores.
So I posted about projects unfinished, and people told me what they had unfinished, and almost everything they said was also stuff which I have been neglecting, which means that I have waaaaaaaay too many ALL THE THINGS to finish. Therefore, I'm sitting here posting! Yeah!
So as a bit of a palate cleanser, and more email for me so I have a further excuse to neglect my poor, delapidated home ... what things have you finished lately which you're proud of?
I have that unpainted wall, but I did finish painting the other two walls, and they look fantastic.
I installed shelves behind the office door for our DVDs and it looks as though I did them right, because none of them have fallen and they all fit.
Yesterday I did manage to vacuum ALL THE THINGS. And last week I even did the stairs.
Plus, and this is the big one: haven't killed anyone. YEAH! *internet high-fives all around*
Friday, September 24, 2010
8:24AM - Projects!
So hey, I like getting email and I have curiosity, so I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and ask y'all a question:
What major projects can you just not seem to finish?
Me, I have this dining room wall I need to finish mudding, sand and paint. I know I can do it - I've done three other walls and they were in worse shape than this one. I just can't seem to get off my ass and do the last bit necessary to just have it DONE.
What are you having trouble kicking your own ass into doing?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
1:43PM - Hey world.
Use this as an anonymous thread to say whatever the fark you want. That's all.
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