(no subject)

Hurtful: being cut off by a group of women who thought you were spreading rumors about them, though you never said shit about any of them.

Hilarious: finding out 12+ years later that they were actually DOING all of the things they said YOU were saying about them.

Almost FB'ed this but my kids are on there.

I tried to be a hippie but I wasn't into it. I tried to be punk but I wasn't into it. I tried to be goth but I wasn't into it. I tried to be a hippie again but I still wasn't into it. I tried to be spiritual but I wasn't into it. I tried to be a suburban housewife but I wasn't into it. I tried mild BDSM but I wasn't into it. I tried monogamy but I wasn't into it. I tried polyamory but I wasn't into it. I tried being medicated for mental illness but I wasn't into it.

Each of the things I've tried to be, I tried because it sounded "right" or fun or comforting or had a built-in peer group (or any and all combinations thereof). Each of the things I've tried to be, I committed to at the time, and was sincere.

Everything I've tried to be has felt like acting.

So many.

First off, it's been kind of awesome seeing people posting on here again. The little blurbs I get to read about your lives on Facebook are nice and all, but...
I've loved reading Nancy's quizzes (even though I think I'm batting about .150 in answering them - I never reply because I'm too ashamed of only being able to get MAYBE one a day). I love the stories about voyages to this or that pub or restaurant with Paul. It's smile-making.
I've ridden up and down with Libby on her relationship stuff and it's been good happy fun times watching things end up working out decently with her kid and his kid and the meetings and such (being kinda vague, sorry).
I've alternately screamed and cheered on the Kate roller coaster and she seriously has one of the cutest kids I've ever seen to whom I'm not related.
And everyone else. So many people, and getting little insights into how things are going with/for y'all has been, for me, kind of a window on the world of how things go.

My stuff...my stuff is my stuff. Which I was going to write about here, but this wasn't going to be a protected entry and there are things I just don't want the general public to have access to right now. I have said a couple of times, "there's stuff I really need to get out, and I'm gonna do it one day" and then I put up a post like this and don't subsequently do it.

I think today I may. Things have been fucky for a while, and then more fucky, and none of it is remotely as earth-shattering as the things a lot of y'all have been going through, but it's fucky for me. Short version: there's a possibility that I've wasted my entire adult life.

So, yeah. Everyone who can/will read this is probably someone I adore on one level or another. Online, I've known most of you for up to 14 years. FOURTEEN GODDAMN YEARS, Y'ALL. My friendship (however removed geographically it may be) with many of you is starting high school this year. It's kind of incredible.

Just wanted to say things. I said things. I will say more things later. But here: have a post from me, by me. It's on me. :D


I have post I'm trying to make on here which I have saved as private 'til I'm done - buncha stuff I want to say about all kinds of stuff. But anyway. This Facebook chat. Not chat. Exchange. In a dude's thread. I'm putting it here because my brain hurts and I'm all about the sharing.

It's kinda long. If you don't feel like reading it, that's fine. I just...I dunno, I want to have this shit out there. There are people like this. Nice, normal people. Who think dogs are more self-aware than the transgendered.

Okay, the original post was a screenshot from a local community college survey. Q: Your sex? A: 1. Male 2. Female 3. Transgendered 4. Prefer not to answer. The man who posted it, commented: "Can someone please give me a good reason why transgender is now listed a gender option? Beside that the world is going to hell? Really.... you might as well put hermaphrodite on there, too. It's more valid than transgender. smh."

What follows is the ensuing thread. I am fully aware that I was deliberately inflammatory when I called the man a bigot right out of the gate. Backstory: this man is a fundamentalist bigot. He did not used to be. After his initial comment above, he did not participate in the thread.

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Because it's a valid orientation, bigot.
about an hour ago · Like · 1

MD: It looks like a survey, so it makes sense to put it on here if they're trying to get a feel for their demographics.
about an hour ago · Like · 1

PS: I'm assuming a TG person marks this if their transformation isn't complete BUT my experience is that person identifies him/herself as the gender which will be the end result... So the option is still useless.
about an hour ago · Like

HM: Wow crazy!! But not surprised!
about an hour ago · Like

DGT: I like the prefer not to respond option. You should have put that, Kev Keep them guessing lol
55 minutes ago · Like

BJ: I was born a man but i feel like i was supposed to be born a dog, WHERE ARE MY OPTIONS?!? WHY IS MY COUNTRY FULL OF HATE AND DISCRIMINATES AGAINST ME?
55 minutes ago · Like · 7

AB: I hate it when applications ask you if you are white, african, hispanic or other. Wtf.
52 minutes ago · Like

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Because a dog isn't a self-aware, sentient being, you twat-waffle.
50 minutes ago · Like

BJ: A dog isnt able to feel or perceive things? And Im the "twat-waffle" you say? Sounds like youre out of touch with reality.
46 minutes ago · Like · 2

DR: neither are TG's
45 minutes ago · Like

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Eh, I'll take back"sentient." How about "because a dog isn't a human, you twat-waffle." And D____, you really believe a TG person is less sentient and self-aware thana dog? Really?
42 minutes ago · Like

DR: I think a dog knows it's place "in the pack" whereas a TG is born one way, can't decide what it wants to be, wants to change, etc. That is the living representation of NOT self aware.
41 minutes ago · Like

JSL: Well I dont understand, working in a prison, if you have male parts your a man, but if you had an operation and now you have female parts you are a female, its based off what genitalia you have, not your sexual orientation. I think transgender shouldn't be an option, just male and female, so if you havent had the operation you get profiled with the men. Nothing against those who have the operation, and even so transgenders shouldnt have to put themselves out there like that,
37 minutes ago · Like · 1

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Wow. I have finally reached a level of short-sighted ness and stupidity to which I am unable to respond. Transgendered people are less self-aware than dogs. I'm starting to think that whole "Satan walks the Earth" thing is not entirely without merit, when humans can refer to other humans this way without a trace of irony.
36 minutes ago · Like

DR: You said what is true, but incorrectly. You are unable to respond, so you resort to name calling. And someone is supposed to take you seriously?
32 minutes ago · Edited · Like · 4

BJ: My short experience with Ianna has been very unpleasant. Instead of discussing things, this person seems to prefer using insults to further their point.
33 minutes ago · Like · 3

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: You are entirely correct. I am unable to have a rational conversation with a person who thinks dogs are more human than transgendered people.
31 minutes ago · Like

DR: Now you're just putting words in my mouth. I said less "self aware" than dogs, not less human. But whatever makes you feel empowered ;)
30 minutes ago · Like

ES: Where's the option for gender fluid? That's a genuine gender.
28 minutes ago · Like

ES: But S___, big breasted men who wear women's clothes can't be lumped in with men. The only thing male about them is the thing between their legs.
26 minutes ago · Like

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: I'm a white woman in a 20+ year marriage who votes every election and has never been arrested. How much more empowerment do you think I need? I just find it morally repulsive that there are actually other human beings roaming the planet with me who honestly think that domesticated pack animals have more self-awareness than transgendered people.
26 minutes ago · Like

ES: Just like women who have facial hair and a lack of boobs can't be lumped in with women cause the only thing female is their no longer reproductive organ
25 minutes ago · Like

BJ: Its called a joke, its sad that in your existence thus far you never developed a sense of humor.
25 minutes ago · Like · 2

DR: Well, i'm 42 and been married less time than you, only 13 years, and have voted in every election since i was 18 (not sure what this has to do with squat). I find it morally repulsive to want to change the gender you were born with and pretend to be something you're not. And my dog, is so self aware, it's never asked me to let it change into a flower, or a frog, or anything else :D
24 minutes ago · Like · 1

ES: I tried to make that make sense....
24 minutes ago · Like

LS: Twat waffle? Someone needs some sensitivity training.
22 minutes ago · Like · 3

ES: Can everyone just take their opinions on transgendered people, moisten them with a lil KY and shove them up their own asses! Your opinion on them (good or bad) doesn't change the fact that there are transgendered people, so shove it! It only makes logical sense, since they do exist and are worth the same amount as everyone else, that they be included in a gender option for a survey. People are people, regardless of gender, transgender, age, race, nationality, etc, so let them be people!

Shit, never thought I'd have to tell adults "your opinions doesn't change who someone is"
15 minutes ago · Edited · Like

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Oh, fuck...that was a joke? I'm sorry, I listen to Carlin, Hicks, Stanhope, Rogan, Norton, Pryor, Mulaney, Proops, Benson, Ansari, Posehn, Newhart, Hackett, Williams, Carvey, Ferguson, Burress, O'Neal...I thought I knew what a joke sounded like by now. That seemed more like a standard non-sequitur.
19 minutes ago · Like

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: D____: I only threw that stuff in to demonstrate that I already have empowerment coming out of my ass* - I don't need to somehow manufacture it by defending transgendered people (not quite sure how that was supposed to be "empowering" for me in the first place).

* Yes, it chafes.
16 minutes ago · Like

DR: You mean like this Eli? (there, that was a joke ) http://hugelol.com/lol/181867
15 minutes ago · Like · 1

BJ: Youre the type of person who hears a joke, doesnt get it, but laughs anyways because you dont want to be left out. Was it hard being home schooled?
14 minutes ago · Like · 1

ES: Yes! That! Thank you David.
14 minutes ago · Like · 1

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: Awww, ad hominem. I already popped the ol' ad-hom cherry in this thread with my "twat-waffle" comment, but your attempt is adorable.
10 minutes ago · Like

BJ: I bet when youre losing an argument, in your 20+ year marriage you always resort to raising your voice as well.
6 minutes ago · Like

Ianna Riegel Tomasello: I'm home-schooled, unable to recognize humor, and shrill. Oh, DO tell me more - this is becoming psychologically fascinating.
3 minutes ago · Like

Joy and stuff.

Thank you for your responses yesterday. Yay, people are still on LJ! Yay, more than three of them still have me on their feed!

Your responses helped some because after years and years of the same behavior from someone, you start to wonder if it's you.

Stupid politics.

I used to post a lot more often, because I used to be unmedicated and thus had almost no filter whatsoever between my brain and my need to tell everyone exactly what was going on in it. One of the things I used to post about was politics. EW, FUCKING POLITICS. Yeah, the P word, worse than "pustulant," worse than "pussy": POLITICS.

I still read political blogs and articles all the time, and frankly I've been too disgusted to properly analyze anything I see. There are vanishingly few news outlets through which one can filter out some or all of the bullshit. Just today we have tasty racism from Fox Business host Eric Bolling, with a hefty side of sexism from MSNBC commentator Ed Schultz.

Over 50,000 troops still in Iraq. FFS.
War in Afghanistan.
Unrest in Pakistan.
Not really a war yet, tee hee! -- in Libya.

Republicans can't keep it in their pants.
Democrats can't keep it in their pants.

I mean, what the hell is there to say, you know? Don't get me started on the bullshit going on with unions and WIC and Medicaid and Medicare and educational funding and NPR and and and ....
And so many people are just so fucking stupid!

In other news, I'm almost done running the concession stand for the season, and I am glad, because I am sick to death of it. Today I have to go to Sam's Club for a cubic assload (approximately) of water and Gatorade, because it's WAY WAY cheaper and faster to buy it that way than to have it delivered by a company that rhymes with Smepsi. SO ANYHOW. 90F temperatures and a lot of heavy lifting in my future. Red-Headed Stepchild will be helping, but it's still going to suck a certain amount of ass. RAPTURE! Oh, but hey! I get the whole weekend off! Huzzah!